JAN 11TH - MY PAPA

I'm am sad tonight and can't seem to control my emotions, yet I know that it's important that correspondence be given on behalf of my family.

Today was a "wonderfully boring" day as mom says. Nothing was accomplished (I took a shower and cleaned the kitchen floor) except lots of talking and TV watching. Papa didn't take any food or water again today, but is definitely comfortable. He is snoring a lot - very loud, but we have learned to tune it out to an extent. He didn't wake up at all today, but I KNOW THAT HE HEARS US! I talk to him all of the time, I whisper the surroundings - who's here, where everyone is, what they are doing, what we are eating etc.

We have become pros at changing him/his bed. Last night, it took us close to 45 minutes. Today, we had to change him 3 times. By the last time, we were done in 5 minutes flat! We are very proud of our accomplishments and are grateful for each other. It's hard to do the things that we do, thank GOD for each other.

Gram's is still amazing and is handling herself well. She receives lots of love all day long and with Papa by her side, she manages to let the day pass....

Today, I decided that I wanted to wash Papa's face and give him a shave with his electric razor that he and I went out to buy a few months ago together. I put on the pre shave and started to shave his whiskers and had to pass it on to Dad. I realized that shaving is one of my very first memories of Papa. When I was little (like very very young), he would pick me up and sit me on the bathroom counter. He would pat his face with the shaving lotion making all sorts of googly faces while looking in the mirror. He noticed that I was watching very intently and would exaggerate his shaving motions and his facial expressions. He would pat some of the shaving gel on my little round face and would then "shave" my face. We would put on the most comforting smelling after shave lotion in the world - with the funny faces and all. He would hold my face in his hands, kiss my nose and say, "Smell pretty, doesn't it?" Yes, today those memories all came back to me and I passed it on to Dad.

Today, Stephanie & Jacob came by. Jacob is 7 and a great light of happiness in all of our lives. He was very comfortable here. Steph brought over her delicious rolo cookies. Jacob made me a mouth watering shirley temple.
Tonight, Sally brought over dinner. My gosh, it was delicious! If you have to be an excellent cook to be a Hospice volunteer, I'd say that Sally passed with flying colors! She and her husband Jim made spaghetti, REAL garlic french bread and a gourmet salad with my favorite olive oil/vinagrette dressing. We rolled away from the table and had another rolo. It was great to have Sally here for dinner and for talks afterwards. My Papa loves her and I know that he senses her presence.

As I try to go to sleep, I want you to know that Papa is at peace. We all are. We wish that each of you were here, but we still feel your prayers. It sounds cliche', but we really do feel prayers so keep them coming! I tell Papa how much I love him over and over again. I move the pillow from around his ear so that I can get closer and whisper, "I love you Poppies. I love Grammies too. I will take care of her until you get her up in heaven." I typically don't cry when I say this. It's so matter of fact. Right now, we are playing some soft music from the TV. I am emotionally tired, but just am not ready to dose off. Somewhat frustrating, but nonetheless, I seem to have plenty to think about. Papa is wiggling his toes - I think he's dreaming about dancing with Grandma is Los Angeles.

If you have any messages that you would like me to pass on, please don't hesitate to write or call 360-887-2072. We are all here and invite anyone that wants to say goodbye/hello to do so. I love you and am grateful for you.



Dianna