My girl, Annie

This is a terribly difficult letter to write and I apologize that I am writing instead of calling.

This month, Gram's will be moving into an adult family home, Wisteria Gardens. This is NOT a nursing home. This is an actual residence with only 6 patients allowed. Right now, there is only 1, but that will quickly change. There is a caregiver on duty 24 hours a day. The downstairs are residents rooms, the upstairs is for the caregivers. It has worked out beautifully as she was able to pick out which room she wanted! There are pictures below of the home. You can also click on this link:

www.wisteriaphotos.com


Some of the highlights are: gardening, peacocks!, it's 10 minutes away from Mom/Dad/Barry/I, close in to Battle Ground (the town that her hair salon, where she has done shopping etc), lots and lots of flowers, beautiful landscaping, her own room (we will be buying a TV), home cooked meals, laundry service, no visiting hours, Buddy is able to visit!, medication management. etc.

Basically, they will be doing everything that Barry and I have been doing. I will still be taking her to doctor's appointments and hair appointments. And yes, I will still be visiting her every day. Some people think that I should cut the umbilical cord, but I just can't! They are going to allow me to sleep with her for a few nights at the new place too (I didn't really give them a choice).

It will be very hard for her to go through 91.11 years of belongings and memories, and leave her home of 12 years. My hope is that this transition goes smoothly and that she is happier with folks her own age and doing some things that she can't do here. She is sad that Buddy can't go with her (they have become very very close. She won't go to bed without him, will not eat without him etc.), but she will see him often. The caregiver is even considering using him as a therapy dog! I feel that Papa would be comfortable with this place and happy to have Gram's in a beautiful loving second home.

It is time that I move back to my home (where I have 2 mortgages and all of my belongings) and open the next chapter in my life. I am tired and just plain old worn out, especially since Papa's passing in January. I have neglected friendships because of time here and not being able to leave. I have to look for a job in this economy, and I have to reestablish myself as a person. Remember what my hobbies and interests are and start building my own family.

I wouldn't trade the time that I have spent caring for my grandparents for all the trees in the forest. Papa and Gram's are 2 of the best people in the world and I'm honored to have taken care of them for over 1 1/2 years. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done and I couldn't have done it without my best friend, Barry. What a pillar of support he has been for me and the family. As Papa/Gram's would say, "Not too many men would let their wife quit her job, move out of their house and be gone for this long.... and move in and take care of us! He is a great man." I couldn't agree more.

I would ask that you would keep her in your prayers and when you call or write, please remind her of the positive things for the new phase of her life. I would also LOVE to have pictures of you, new and old. Also, if you have some quick memories to jot down, I will be making her a scrap book of "memories." If you have any recommendations for me to help her, I'm all ears. If you have any questions, PLEASE ask them! It may trigger some things that I am not thinking of.

I love you and I appreciate your continued support. It takes a whole village to raise a child but it just takes a great family and network of friends to care for grandparents. Thank you.